Balancing on the Edge of Dark

Coloring Outside the Lines

If we are to truly get close to God or any other human being we must be willing to cross the lines we have drawn for our lives.  These lines serve as boundaries keeping others out, not as we tell ourselves to simply avoid being hurt. We must hug those lines and even be willing to cross over them.  

Free will allows us to be the artist of our lives and to create a work of life that is us.  We only reach that place of breakthrough when we move past what is comfortable, what is known, what is expected into the absurd.  We must color outside the lines and allow the colors to run to mix and mingle with the colors of others.  Only then will a truly new thing emerge; a new hue, a new shade.

In the beginning the lines serve to define and differentiate us, but overtime they come to limit and isolate us.  The community, the life we yearn for is only found in the anxiety of mystery.  We must choose to walk into the darkness of our hearts, search the undiscovered shining a light into the dark corners.  And by the grace of God find our true purpose to be a blessing and impact the lives of others.

Alone in the Universe?

Seasons Change

I am love falling, breaking unsuspecting hearts

Cleaving deep darkness, I am lightening flashing

I am thunder crashing, defeating silent echos

Searching endless thoughts, I am fears growing

I am loneliness hiding, behind mirthful smiles

Appearing creative fiction, I am truth living

I am water dripping, dry ground soaking

Tossing boulders high, I am wind howling

I am beauty glowing, dripping dropping ashes

Within darkness is receding, I am faith rising

I am strength holding, hope tightly clinging

Shining light into dark, I am his delight

An Invasion of Gentleness

"An Invasion of Gentleness"   

Pastels and Colored Pencil on Black Paper    6x9 inches   Maleko ©2012

 

Hear this, you elders; listen, all who live in the land. Has anything like this ever

happened in your days or in the days of your forefathers?   Joel 1:2

 

Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.    Philippians 4:5

Looking For... Looking Out...

Looking for colors in the darkest black, 

Looking for arms to take me back

Looking out from the darkness within,

Looking out for a chance to begin

Looking for wisdom to show me how,

Looking for love in the here and now

Looking out along the lonely way,

Looking out for a chance to say

Looking for a strength to firmly stand,

Looking for a warm gentle hand

Looking out into the deepest blue,

Looking out searching only for you

©MalekoArts (Mark Schutter) 2012

Father, please do it again!

I watched the colors in the twilight sky grow before my eyes

As water runs quickly down quietly soaking into the ground

A kaleidoscope of blues, purples, reds, yellows and orange

Colors sing a beautiful song of worship for mankind to hear

Heavenly glory and splendor displayed on a canvas of blue

Hues fade silently as crystal stars slowly appear in the dark

Father, please do it again!

©Maleko 2012 

Memories Of Eternity

'Christmas Morning'  (Photograph Bellingham, WA)

© Maleko 2011

A journey's new start

Moments slip past

A quickening of the heart

Loves rains down

A distant star

Falls to the ground

Sparks illuminate the night

And eternity beckons

Shines loves pure light

Eternal Magic - Part 3

Eternal Magic - Part 1 
Eternal Magic - Part 2 

He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death.

Job 12:22 KJV

The creatures continued to advance; Sadee Jayne’s barks became filled with aggression and fear.  Within the mind of each family member at the same time the word ‘surrender’ was heard as clear as if it had been spoken by someone standing next to them.  They each looked at each other in turn, with a dawning recognition in their eyes.  A freezing chill settled deeper in the air and began to penetrate their hearts as the fires light began to wane.  They knew they could not save themselves and the realization drove them to their knees still holding tightly to one another. 

Words of belief, of devotion, of love and worship quickly passed across their lips into the cold frigid night in an effort to accept what seemed an inevitable fate.  A long forgotten magic and wisdom began to dance in the air as the small family huddled together still clasping hands.  Silent prayers were fervently whispered and offered up to the throne of heaven as stars swayed in the sky as if hanging from invisible string.

Suddenly, the last rays of the setting sun emerged from behind low lying clouds on the western horizon, blazing light across the landscape.  The owl had disappeared quietly into the night as the air became filled with a power so tangible you could almost hold it in your arms.  A brilliant gold illuminated the darkness and the shadows.  The creatures were filled from the center with a pure white light that pierced them from within as the suns light reached them before they could retreat. 

Each creature recoiled and writhed in pain, erupting in low screams just barely audible for the human ear to hear.  Slowly each creature began to melt inward, as ice on the sidewalk on a hot summer’s day, back into the earth from where they had come.  The image of the apparitions completely disappeared as the kingdom advanced heralding a power that calmed their hearts.

The prayers of the three had became bolder with power and expectation as they turned from pleas of rescue to voices raised in worship to an eternal hope offered freely from heaven.  The owls’ ability and vision to see in the dark had supplied a warning and revealed a truth that darkness can be overcome by a deeper magic that shines a light into all dark places.  After the creatures had completely vanished a silent calm had returned to the night.           

The sun dropped beyond the horizon as night settled over the land once again and the campfires’ light blazed brightly.  The realization of the power they had just witnessed combined with feelings of whether the experience had all only been a dream.  The family vowed to remember and share with others, that there is an eternal magic that reveals mysteries from the darkness and brings the deep darkness into the light.

    THE END  ©Maleko 2011

Eternal Magic - Part 2

He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death.

Job 12:22 KJV

Civilizations have both revered and feared the owl as a symbol of the underworld.  The ability to navigate easily through the night has tied the owl to the secrets we all hold in the dark places in our hearts.  Often thought throughout the ages to be a shape-shifter that heralds the coming of evil or dark wisdom, a link to spiritual things the material world has long forgotten.  But some see the owl as a warning for those who would heed its presence, sent as a guide to discover hidden timeless truths which hold forgotten wisdom.

Civilizations have both revered and feared the owl as a symbol of the underworld.  The ability to navigate easily through the night has tied the owl through history to the secrets we all hold in the dark places in our hearts.  Often thought throughout the ages to be a shape-shifter that heralds the coming of evil or dark wisdom, a link to spiritual things the material world has long forgotten.  But some see the owl as a warning for those who would heed its presence, sent as a guide to discover hidden timeless truths which hold forgotten wisdom.

The owl’s hoots became more frequent and intense as Sadee Jayne voiced low growls in the dark while standing stiff, poised for attack, strained against the full length of her chain.  The air suddenly was charged with an unseen energy.  Flames suddenly shoot upward out of the campfire into the sky, but no heat could be felt from the raging inferno.  At the edge of the glow cast by the fires light dark shadows began to emerge from the tree line filling the night with an oppressive terror released from the depths of the earth.  Shadows, numbering in the hundreds, were slowly moving forward and appeared at once human in shape but with no distinguishable features save for glowing metallic eyes.  The silhouettes showed familiar human like appendages; legs, arms, hands but the edges remained hazy as if advancing from out of a foggy mist.

In fear the family of three quickly clasped hands forming an unbroken circle as the shadows continued to advance slowly out of the darkness drawing nearer and nearer.  It was possible now to discern that the shadows appeared as creatures from the spirit world that had taken on physical form.  The little girl shrieked in fear as the apparitions continued their slow march forward.  As the three began to pray their prayers slowed the forward movement of the dark figures for a moment when voiced with no hesitation or doubt.  But with any break in the prayers and the cadence of their voices, then the slow plodding march forward of the figures would begin again.  The creatures appeared to gather strength and resolve that as they came closer.

No sound could be heard as the creatures crossed the ground seeming to float just above it.  Did they lack a mass to their form?  Visions of demons danced through the head of each member of the family from stories they had heard; grotesque and cruel, things most people only seemed to believe in their nightmares.  But this was real and only a greater power, which had existed long before these creatures could stop the attack.  It was a deeper kind of magic that echoed across eternity, one in which these creatures long ago turned from and chose not to believe.  Prayers become more fervent as the terror inside rose and they clung tightly to one another.  The parents frantically shielding their beloved daughter’s eyes from the gruesome figures that now hunted them.   (END PART 2)

Eternal Magic - Part 1

He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death.   

Job 12:22 KJV

The flames from the campfire eagerly licked the dry wood as they climbed higher into the night, casting dancing shadows into the nearby forest.  Three silent figures sat close to the flames to feel the heat and cut the chill as the temperature dropped quickly with the setting of the autumn sun. The quiet and stillness of the early evening was welcomed by the small family after the day of adventure.

As late evening began to settle over the land like a thick blanket, a feeling of expectation and stillness hung heavy in the night air.  The only sound came from the crackling and popping of the campfire, flames sending prophetic visions dancing into the night. Anticipation arose within the hearts of this family of three.  Stars twinkled in the sky as distant galaxies were being born and dying as eternity journeyed ever onward.  Far from the light pollution of the cities and towns the heavens began to unveil a cosmic light show that was sure to be beyond compare.

The family consisting of father, mother and daughter spoke in hushed tones so as not to disturb the majesty of creation that they were witnessing on this night.  The only movement occurred when the fire needed tended and this was done quickly and with little wasted effort.  Occasionally their trusted companion, a dog named Sadee Jayne would move as she lay dozing just outside the fires light keeping a silent vigil against the night.

The last small glow from the sun was disappearing beyond the horizon when a high pitched screech that split open the silence of the night elicited a low growl from Sadee Jayne.  The shriek reverberated through the dark air as if carried on the wind through the trees and across the land, the sound chilling their hearts.  As the silence settled once again, the flickering flames reflected in their eyes as they looked at one another across the campfire as the moments slowly ticked past, their hearts beating fast with breathless anticipation.

The youngest of the group spotted the feathered creature first perched high up at the top of the trunk of a long dead tree with no limbs some twenty yards outside their camp.  The owl was a snowy white color with grey markings against the blue of the twilight sky, accustomed to the darkness, familiar with and unafraid of the shadows that dwell there.  Its head slowly swiveled from right to left surveying their camp for reasons unknown.  The owl voiced low hooting cries of mourning that echoed into the night.      (END PART 1)

A Good Death

The low hum of the fluorescent lights overhead buzzed like flies on a hot summer afternoon as the electricity surged.  The hiss of air slowly escaping from the breathing tube attached to the electronic pump droned on in endless monotony.  Footfalls of rubber soles on linoleum could be heard coming form the hallway a nurse walked quickly by.  As the final breath escaped, the silence of each individual in the room combined to a deafening chorus as the walls slowly closed in.  Hesitatingly each person made their way to the door and out into the stark cold hallway of the hospital.  An occasional deep sigh could be heard and silent tears were wiped away.

Family wanted him to come home with them.  They cajoled, almost pleading that he needed to be with others especially family right now.  Or was it that they did not want to be alone to face their own pain and the experience of a life slowly fading into the dark.  If they could spend their energies on helping and comforting him, maybe they would not have to face the ache and they might hurt just a little bit less.

But in the end, he knew with total certainty that this path, this new journey, started now and he best get on with it.  What lay before him would began with one small step away from every thing he had every known.  God and history never repeats and nothing could or would ever be the same.

Scarcely remembering the trip back to the house; he approached in the waning hours of late evening as darkness of the approaching night began to settle.  The house that they had called home was dark and silent, the key in the lock and the creak of the hinges as the door slowly opened screamed a defiant cry in the silence.  There was emptiness in the air that seemed to permeate and cover everything.  What was previously there was now gone, vanished from the space as the ocean tide recedes from the shore.  The tide would wash over the land once again and atoms of matter in a dance of electrical frenzy had already filled in the space in which her form had previously occupied.

He sat in silence as time slowly ticked past, the beating of his heart counting the memories, the realization that this is how it would forever be.  Evening became night and the darkness fell over everything and he felt the blackness like the weight of a heavy blanket.  There was no awareness of time as the pain was too raw, too real; the shock permeated to his core so that no tears came.  The confusion would not allow a coherent thought; dark that surrounded him taunted an emptiness and futility that he should embrace.

At long last without a thought he stood up and went room to room throughout the house in the dark gathering the multitude of small white votive candles that she had purchased saying you can never have enough candles.  Carrying the candles out into the night he slowly placed them around the yard where moments of joy and happiness had been shared.  As he did so memories emerged of family gatherings, barbecue's, games, quiet evenings watching the sunset, the hours of work to turn the space into their own little refuge against the world. 

As each candle was placed he would light the wick with a match and the smell of sulfur would waft slowly into the night air.  The flame of each match sprang to life and then gave its life to light the wick of the white candle which would burn on long after the matches’ light was extinguished.  With each candle that was lit the flames created shadows across the landscape, dancing through the limbs of the trees, bouncing off the flower petals and reflecting colors that were hidden by the dark.  Light blazed around him as he sat in silence and reflected on the journey they had shared and the twist in the road on which he now must wander. 

Each white votive candle burned bright, but each one was unique, no two flames the same, but each shared a link to the other, somehow connected.  The memories flowed as a river of water, slowing in pools to quietly reflect and at times crashing in like rapids strong and dangerous.  Time seemed to have no meaning and the candles light continued to burn.

A slow realization began to form that she still was and ever would be, she was now connected to more than we could ever hope to be while on this earth.  Her parting was not an end but a new beginning to explore and receive all that this earth could never offer.  The light of each candle held some of her beauty but they were only temporary reminders.  As the hours passed the candles burned slowly down each to an end in which each flame quietly died. 

As each candle’s light was extinguished the darkness began its ever present march forward to cover the land and his heart again.  But has he looked up into the heavens the candlelight had been replaced by a million twinkling stars in the sky.  Each star was a reminder of things past and they held each memory in their embrace.  She was now a light connected to all other lights, a joy in the arms of her Father and he realized the truth of a good death.  Facing the heavens lights tears streamed down his face as he silently cried in remembrance of the past and a hope of the future.

(The above is my first work of creative non-fiction, loosely based on a real life experience. ~©Maleko 2011)

What I fear and desire most ...

What I fear and desire most in the world is God.  

I fear Him because He promises to be spontaneous, out of my control, unnamed beyond my reasonable self.  

I desire Him because God has color, like the fire that burns hot.  

He is not pale, He is not neutral.  

His light reveals the darkness of my heart.

Excerpt adapted from "Red: Passion and Patience in the Desert" by Terry Tempest Williams, © 2001

God's Majestic Silence

"Blue Mountains"  Photograph NW Oregon

© Maleko 2011

Within the silence, that often surrounds

Truth is heard and grace abounds

Within faith's glow, living waters flow

Souls are stilled, empty vessels filled

Answers to prayers, float silently down

God's majestic silence, is all around

~ © Maleko 2011

  


 (This is a companion to a previous post on The Silence of God originally posted on May 15, 2011.  The above post follows the predictions of some that on Saturday, May 21, 2011, God would rapture His church, which did not occur, as the bible states no man can know the day or the hour.  It occurred to me that we still have the voice of God in the silence and His promises which He will fulfill to those who remain faithful to the end.  ~M) 
 

The Silence of God

My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. Psalm 62:5 NAS

When we experience 'silence' from God we may doubt our faith and even the existence of God.  We believe the silence signifies a negative experience.  We pray, we listen and hear nothing but silence in response to our pleas.  We yearn for an audible voice to break the silence, to calm our growing fears.

But, does God actually speak loudest in His silence?

God does speak of His everlasting love, faithfulness, power, gentleness, compassion, sacrifice, righteousness and grace.   To hear that still small voice, we must quiet ourselves, remain still and listen with more than just our ears for God's grace to be unveiled.

'July Rainbow Over SE Alaska'  

© Maleko 2011

God's voice may be found in...

• The rising & setting of the sun
• A snow capped mountain range
• Clouds floating across the sky
• A bird soaring high overhead
• The delicateness of a butterfly's wings
• A colorful rainbow after the rain

We tell ourselves God is silent, but He is not.  We equate this perceived silence as His disappointment in our lives and nothing could be further from the truth as He daily shares His wondrous creation with us daily.

When God seems silent and distant my desire is remain there, to be captured by Him.

As I grow restless in the silence, as thoughts arise that I must seek the answers elsewhere.  I remember Peter's response to Jesus when asked in the sixth chapter of John if he wanted to go away also.  Peter replied, "Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life."

The answers are found nowhere else; so I rest, 

captured within the silence of God.

3 Easy Steps .....

Away From the Light & Into the Darkness.  I have come to see 3 easy steps that we may succumb to every day in deceiving ourselves, which quickly lead us away from light and into darkness.  These acts most often seem to occur almost unconsciously and quickly as we fail to follow the truth, which regularly results in broken fellowship, hurt and grief.  

"Wings in the Dark"  Watercolors & Pastels/PaintShopPro  
©Maleko 2011

1- Rationalization of the act - telling ourselves it will be okay and it is just this once so why not?

But some of the scribes were sitting there and reasoning in their hearts,  ~Mark 2:6

2- Justification of the impact- everyone is doing it and nobody gets hurt so what is the big deal?

And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts ; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God. ~Luke 16:15

3 - Expectation of the outcome - that this is the way it is and there is nothing else, no eternal truth or judgement, right?

The desire of the righteous is only good, But the expectation of the wicked is wrath. ~Proverbs 11:23

However, within the darkness there is a light, there is redemption, forgiveness and a rescue from our pain. But we must make a conscious choice to turn from our own plans for making life work and be willing to believe in the grace that is offered freely through Jesus Christ; the way, the truth and the life.

(All scriptures references were found at Bible Study Tools and are from the New American Standard Bible translation.)

Standing....

Standing at the oceans shore, I am a single voice amidst the roar.

Standing in a desert land, I am a single grain of sand.

Standing on a mountain peak, I am a single wind blown leaf.

Standing in the crowd alone, I am a single melodic tone.

Standing in the dark of night, I am a single flickering spark of light.

Standing in heavens grasp, I am at home with my Father at last.

©Maleko - March 2011

Photograph ©Maleko - April 2011

Within the Undiscovered

 "Within the Undiscovered" 

        

Watercolor 13x18 on white paper, border added using Paint Shop

This is another design idea based on the Shadow Series, in which I tired to show the horse

form as it emerges from out of the colors (The Undiscovered) as a spirit or shadow of the reality.

Into the Darkness Came a Light

In Genesis 1:2 we are told that, "The earth was formless and void, darkness was over the surface of the deep..."
 
Verses 3 & 4 state, "Then God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light.  God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness."  

Did the darkness pre-exist before the light?  Did God (the light) the eternal uncreated enter into the darkness and bring the first light? For God to command light to appear there must have been darkness or the light would have been no more useful than a flashlight on a sunny day.  This separation of light and dark intrigues me and seems to foreshadow our lives.

We must first be discouraged to experience renewed hope.
We must first be broken to experience restoration. 

We must first be mournful to experience true joy.

We must first be hurt to experience true healing.

We must first be dead to truly experience life.

Our lives seem to so often follow this trajectory as we are in the dark of our mothers womb and are born into the light.  We are then wounded, beaten, down trodden, forsaken, abandoned as we traverse this experience we call life.  Sometimes oblivious that we are in need of a savior and a friend.  My prayer is that all come to this realization soon rather than later and that God uses me to show this truth to others so that grace may be unveiled.  ~Maleko 

This photo was taken on New Year's Eve 2011 as we celebrated with a bonfire!!!

Random Thoughts on the Creative Process

Is the creative process eternal or temporal?

Where does it begin?

Does it exist outside of time? 

Can we grab hold of it and pull it into time?

Or does the process begin with us?

Is it mortal or immortal?