Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Climbing Out of the Abyss

The abyss of anxiety and depression is a deep cavern of dark indecision and self-loathing that many, including I, have journeyed through.  The black surrounds, a thousand voices screaming in your head without a sound.  The angst is like a velvet fog, soft and thick covering everything, greying the colors of life.  The abyss beckons continuously, promising a false comfort there.  

Life is..., not what was hoped and planned for
Life is..., the truths we believe about our experiences
Life is..., living, learning, loving and letting go

Fate conspires to break your heart and healing only comes once you are broken.  A thousand steps forward only to find yourself sliding slowly backwards as if drawn by an invisible force.  Reaching, grasping, clawing to the edge of the abyss.  Looking up, looking out, looking forward to the light, away from the dark.  To begin anew from here, right where you are, taking one small step of faith to begin the journey and begin climbing out of the abyss.                  Maleko ©2011


- Shawn said...

Mark, this post leaves me breathless. To know that there is someone out there that just might understand has brought me immeasureable comfort. There's so much guilt and shame which comes from the abyss - the paradox of being happy and blessed while at the same time, being sad and uneasy has been my ultimate struggle - your words bring truth and with the truth comes hope and with hope comes freedom. Thank you for being my friend - and at the risk of offending our respective Idaho sensibilities, let me just say I love you.

Maleko said...

Thank you Shawn. The paradox is where life is lived and I believe it takes strength to acknowledge and accept that. You have that strength my friend! Journey on!